What a year it was. Things were done, by everyone, and things were said. We made mistakes. There were good times, bad times and all the stuff inbetween. I must have replayed it all in my head over a million times. Total humiliation felt inevitable for a long time.

And I’m not quite sure what’s happened, or how it happened, but everythings actually ok. More than ok, it’s better. So much better. Everyone worried, and so did I. But I did the right thing and being the exception is a lovely feeling.

One of my secret NY resolutions to myself was to try and worry less. Realistically, that’s not going to happen, because, well; it’s me. But there are certain things that I won’t worry about anymore, and it’s a massive weight off my shoulders. Things seem to have clicked, and without tempting fate, I can’t imagine them ‘unclicking’ any time soon. I’ve realised that I sometimes feel embarassed if I’m happy, especially if I think people might find out about it. I spend an utterly ridiculous amount of time worrying about what other people think of me.

But, I’m discovering that contentment does a pretty good job at speaking over all the other stuff. It’s my favourite thing to listen to.