I can’t sleep. Nothing to do with the fact I napped earlier, and I’m quite hungover.

I’ve always thought these things were a bit gay, and it probably is, but it also feels quite cathartic if you know what I mean. And it beats updating my Facebook every five minutes. Essentially, since I was about 17, I have been bobbing along quite smugly thinking I had it all figured out. Turns out, I don’t at all and am not feeling too smug at the moment!

My problem is, I’m a hopeless romantic. Hopeless being the main thing to take from that saying. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be an Emo blog, no poems I swear. I’ve always had this unrealistic view of love, and it goes something like this. I bump into a guy in the street, instantly I know he is charming, kind and funny. He thinks the same of me. He picks me and swings me round, and mid-swing- a beautiful ring magically levitates itself onto my finger and at the same time I am instantly impregnated with a perfectly formed foetus who is moral yet a genius. All of this happens to bird song and rainbows form in the sky. We walk hand in hand back to our perfect house and live happily ever after. We only argue about who loves each other more, and our spare time is spent looking into each other eyes and reading in the park. Crap like that. Do you see my problem? It’s not like I’m not grateful for what I have. I have a house, a job and am disease free. I know all this. It’s just… I want a bit more, you know?

That aside, I have had a lovely five days with some lovely people. I’ve tried to explain it, but I don’t think I’ll ever be to vocalise how grateful I am to some people for making a place for me again. I’ve been pretty lazy this past year, and haven’t made enough of an effort with a lot of people. I hope this weekend has gone some way to making amends for all that.

I’m not really sure what to do next, but who does? I need a hobby I think. Something that doesn’t involve my iPhone or watching telly. I’m thinking swimming. So, I’ll get up, go to work, go swimming, walk the mutt, go to sleep and hopefully see friends and people I love inbetween. Sounds like I plan, I hear you cry.

Yeah, ok, I’ll do that. And just see what happens I guess. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?